It was Pride weekend here in Vancouver.
These days the Trans March is the only event I attend. For the last 3 years my wife and I set up our camping chairs at the entrance to the park and give people freezies. Near us was the Pickles by Donation stand and the Free Haircuts stand. I love the Trans March because it's still grassroots.
This fills my cup in so many ways. It's a concrete way that I can show up as a ally. Before the marchers arrive there are people setting up in the park--many of whom are on their own and looking a little uncomfortable. When I shout out an offer of a free freezie, most people light up and come over. I think there's something about being seen and the childhood nostalgia of a freezie. It's also usually hot out, so it's refreshing.
This year I brought 3 boxes (240 freezies) and we ran out 1/3 of the way through the march.
I also made a badge that said "Queer Auntie" and many people said "thank you queer auntie" which made me feel seen.
Hey Toronto! I'm going to be visiting.
I'm based in Vancouver and I coach almost everyone over Zoom. But from September 22 to October 1, I'll be in Toronto, and I want to spend some of that time meeting people face to face.
If you're thinking about working with a coach this fall, I'm offering free 30 minute in-person chemistry sessions with me while I'm in town. I'll coach you for 20 minutes and then we can have a regular conversation where you can ask me questions.
I work most often with women of colour in corporate careers who are navigating some kind of work transition: starting a new job, finding the courage to leave one, stepping into a promotion, or building a new team. I also work with any leader who takes a stand for inclusion at work. If that sounds like where you're at, I'd love to meet you.
Spots will be limited. Click below to get on the list. Once I know how much interest there is, I'll follow up with where and when I'll be doing this, along with a sign up sheet.
Don't ask me to make decisions right now
I'm experiencing from both sides how it can be kind to keep decision making to a minimum for people who are having a tough time.
My dad died a month ago. The way grief is showing up for me is mental fogginess, irritability and crankiness. I know other waves of emotions will show up, but right now this is what I'm working with. One of the kindest things someone offered was "I'm going to call you tonight, if you want to talk pick up. If you don't, then don't. Either is fine." There wasn't a negotiation of phone/FaceTime/Zoom or a back and forth about scheduling a time. A clear offer that put nothing on my to do list. What a gift!
A close friend was in hospital this weekend. Both my wife and I were home on Friday, so I texted her wife this offer "You can drop your dog off on the way to the hospital, happy to be with her." A clear offer that put no work on my friend. Drop off your cute dog or don't. Either is fine.
A new friend reached out to try and schedule 5 of us getting together. I told them I don't have the brain power or energy for the back and forth to schedule, reschedule and then pick a location. I really like them and right now I just can't.
I think a lot of us really want to respect people's preferences, agency and boundaries (a good thing, really!) and when you're working with limited brain power it's a lot of work. How can you make your offer clearly and with little to no work to the person you're helping?
My friend and fellow coach Libby Nelson shared the What's Your Grief website with me and it's been really useful.
If you have other resources around grief that you've found useful, please share them with me. I'll compile them and share them in my next newsletter.
Trying something new
This is my first time sharing sponsored content in this newsletter. Superhuman is the parent company to Grammarly, an AI assisted writing tool to help with grammar and spelling. Superhuman also includes Coda and some other tools. I'm going to check it out.
Your feedback means a lot to me--let me know what you think (especially if you hate it) about me including this ad.
Other ways to work with me
- 1:1 coaching — 3 or 6 month packages. Book a free chemistry call to see if we're a fit. Your workplace might have professional development funds you can use, or you might ask your manager to invest in you.
- Team offsites — I design and facilitate in-person experiences for teams. I'm actively looking to do more of this, especially in person. Reply with the basics (who, what, when) and let's talk.
- Speaking — keynotes, panels, fireside chats. I'm a strong interviewer if you need someone to draw out a great conversation. Here's my current keynote on leadership and values.
- Inclusion consulting — strategy, thought partnership, and culture work for organizations building high-performance inclusive workplaces. Reach out here.
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