Last week I found myself at two very different events. At one of them I felt I was exactly where I should be and at the other one I was mumbling to myself: "what am I doing here?" It was disorienting, but by using my values as a tool to understand the match/mismatch, it all makes sense now.
The "yes! this is exactly where I should be" feeling was teaching coaching skills to scientists at NOAA Fisheries, NASA, and the California Water Board through a partnership with Openscapes. I love this group so much! I love how they bring a beginner's mindset to learning and the care and grace they extend to each other (and themselves). I also love that I get to learn new things from them. Last week I learned about ichthyological collections (pickled fish specimens, as a fish scientist explained in the chat) and ostracod bioluminescence.
Some of my values are curiosity, learning and being of service. I get to do all of these things with this group. This work fills me up!
Later in the day I went to the Web Summit conference. It's a technology conference with 20,000 attendees and it was massively overwhelming and not at a human scale. It felt like a busy airport, not like a place to connect. I spent 15 min trying to meet up with a friend and the scale was so big, we kept missing each other. Once I saw my friend, my battery was empty and I went home.
Two important values for me are connection (quality over quantity) and community. This environment was not the place for me to honour those values and my energy was quickly depleted.
Our values are a compass to navigating our life and work. When an environment is not for you, see if you can name what values are being stepped on.
Values compass coaching sessions
Our values are a great compass to decide how to navigate the world. They're also useful for looking back and understanding why things felt right, or didn't.
Getting clear on your values and using them as your internal compass to make decisions about how you want to move forward is a great strategy.
Last month I did a session with a founder on her values and the values she that will be foundational to her next company.
You'll leave this session with a list of 5-7 of your values and an action plan to live into them more. These sessions are $425, limited to 3 slots each month until the summer.
Dine with Kent
This weekend I went down the rabbit hole of Dine With Kent videos on Instagram.
He's an older white guy in Houston who goes to all kinds of restaurants to try new-to-him cuisines.
I admit I was holding my breath worried that he was going to say something awful, but I was completely wrong.
He's so curious and isn't afraid to ask the owners for recommendations on what to eat and also how to eat it. I love it when he takes a bite and starts chuckling in an appreciative way because it's so delicious. The way he experiences joy through eating delicious flavours reminds me of my dad.
I misjudged Kent and am glad that I stuck around to enjoy seeing him delight in cuisines from all around the world.
The world needs more Kent.
In my to read stack
Anchored, Aligned, Accountable: A Framework for Transcending Bullsh*t and Transforming Our Lives and Work
I admire Aiko Bethea and how she shows up in the coaching world. The blurb on the publisher's site says:
...Aiko Bethea gives us an innovative and road-tested framework for learning to show up in any situation authentically and not as the people-pleasing or conflict-avoidant versions of ourselves that have become second nature to so many of us.
A friend texted me saying she uses the word bullshit about 20 times in the first 5 pages.
These two data points make this a hell yes for me.
Uncompete: Rejecting Competition to Unlock Success
Ruchika T. Malhotra coined the term uncompete. It is "the belief that success for all comes from choosing abundance and collaboration, while intentionally rejecting competition." Uncompete was recently named in Thinkers50's Top 10 best new management books 2026.
I see Ruchika live uncompete out in the world in how she lifts up other authors' work.
Joyful, Anyway
I heard Kate Bowler, in conversation with Priya Parker, differentiating between happiness and joy. She talks about happiness as a relaxing emotion that we experience when all the little things are going right. She talks about joy as a positive emotion that feel bright and alive--joy can show up as surprise moments on hard days. Moments of joy can be possible when we're not happy. I love this and think it's a really useful lens for these times.
I really enjoyed her book The Lives We Actually Have: 100 Blessings for Imperfect Days and I think I'm going to enjoy this one too.
*All book links are Amazon affiliate links.
What's in your to read stack? Reply and let me know.
Ways to work with me
- 1:1 coaching — 3 or 6 month packages. Book a free chemistry call to see if we're a fit.
- Team offsites — I design and facilitate in-person experiences for teams. I'm actively looking to do more of this, especially in person. Reply with the basics (who, what, when) and let's talk.
- Speaking — keynotes, panels, fireside chats. I'm booking events for Pride this year. I'm a strong interviewer if you need someone to draw out a great conversation. Here's my current keynote on leadership and values.
- Inclusion consulting — strategy, thought partnership, and culture work for organizations building high-performance inclusive workplaces. Reach out here.
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